Chapter 46

Disclaimer: Amongst the many many reason we are dying for Meredith to get pregnant on the show is the fact we think Derek would be the cutest, worried expectant daddy…ever. We don’t own the show so we do it with fanfic…and hope the people that do own the show follow our lead.

In the last couple of days, their lives had exploded. It was the only way Derek could think to describe it. Not that things had ever been too calm for them, but now it felt like everything had gotten crazier than before but in the most amazing way. This is what he had always hoped for for his wife, it was what he had always knew would come for her but the timing could have been better.

While he worked his ass off to get in all the time he could before his paternity leave, Meredith was spending all of her time working on her photos. Of course, there was also the fact that she was trying to prepare for their baby girl. The doctor had told her to start preparing, and his wife had gone into a baby frenzy. She had chosen a Lamaze class and was now obsessed with her hospital bag. It would be cute. It would actually be adorable if she didn’t already have so much going on in her life. It wasn’t exactly her fault and clearly not much could be dropped right now but this was also the point in her life where she should be taking it easy. It was the point where she needed to be taking it easy. She should be sitting and relaxing, not doing a million things at once.

But this was Meredith Grey, and she rarely did what she was supposed to do. He shook his head as he pulled into their driveway. He had no idea what to do, how to get her to relax and just take it easy. She was feeling so many different emotions right now, so many different feelings and then of course there were all the hormones racing through her body. None of which made it easy for her to relax.

He was so happy this show had come. He had been hoping for it for so long, because he had always been sure that she wouldn’t be entirely happy until her photography life clicked but he couldn’t help but hate the timing. It definitely could have come at an easier time for them but he figured that was the way life worked. They could get through this, they could.

Oliver barked excitedly and came running towards him as he dropped his briefcase by the front door. He could hear the dryer beeping insistently but otherwise, he didn’t hear his wife at all. He sighed and rubbed Oliver’s head, smiling as the dog licked his hand and then turned to run upstairs, barking eagerly. Oliver probably knew where Meredith was, since he was usually attached to Meredith these days. He had a feeling the dog knew how stressed his mommy was and how everything was about to change for the family so he was keeping an eye on her. It gave Derek an odd sense of comfort when he was at work because he couldn’t help but think that if Meredith got really sick while he was at work, Oliver would actually run to the diner to get Bev. “Mer, I’m home!”

Oliver barked again, turning to lick his hand before running back into the bedroom. He sighed and followed the dog, shaking his head when he saw his wife on the bed in her sweatpants, her hair pulled back in a ponytail as she stared at her computer. There were about five pillows against her back, but he was pretty sure her back was going to kill her regardless.

“Hey.”

“Hey,” she mumbled, rubbing her stomach slowly as she picked up a photo next to her. He winced when he saw her face; at the dark circles under her eyes and the tension in her jaw and neck.

“Do I want to know how long you’ve been sitting there?” he sighed as he put his bag down.

“You told me this morning to stay in bed,” she shrugged. “Did you hear if the dryer was done?”

“Yeah, it was beeping.”

“Those will be her socks. I need to get those.”

“I can grab them,” he shrugged.

“No, it’s okay, Derek, I’ve been doing the laundry all day.”

“I thought you had been in bed all day.”

“I’ve been in bed when I haven’t been doing laundry.”

“Mer…”

“I’ve decided I want to do seven pictures for each year I’ve lived in Star’s Hope,” she said, reaching to grab another picture. “The first year was really easy because I was trying to capture just how strange this place was. But I’m to the fourth year and I’m a little stuck.”

“Why?”

“Can’t decide on the seventh picture,” Meredith sighed, scratching at her belly.

“What was your fourth year like?”

“I traveled a lot,” she shrugged. “It was the year before I met you. Nothing really memorable.”

“Hmmmm…”

“By the way, I washed her sheets today and put them on her mattress. So the nursery is pretty much done, I just have to decide on what pictures to put in her room. And I decided what I was packing for the hospital but I can’t decide what she should come home in.”

“You got a lot done today,” he sighed.

“Not enough,” she shook her head as she moved to put her feet over the side of the bed and pushed herself up to a standing position that was more than slightly unstable. “Woah.”

“Mer,” he breathed, grabbing for her arm. “Slow down.”

“Sorry…I…dizzy. Just got dizzy for a second.”

“When did you last eat?”

“Eat?”

“Yes, Mer. Food.”

“I…um…” she chewed on her lip. “I had waffles at the diner this morning.”

“Morning?”

“Yeah. And Oliver and I were going to get lunch but I was in the nursery and I noticed that the curtains looked a little funny so I was trying to fix those without falling from the step ladder…”

“You were on the step ladder?”

“Only for a couple of minutes.”

“A couple of minutes when you could have fallen off.”

“But I didn’t fall off,” she shrugged as she waddled out of the room. “And then my printer started acting funny so I was trying to get under the desk to fix it because I needed to see this picture a little more closely…and I’m pretty sure I forgot to eat lunch.”

“Meredith Elizabeth Grey,” he groaned, following behind her.

“What? I haven’t been as hungry lately because my uterus has squished everything else.”

“And you know you’re supposed to force yourself to eat.”

“I’m fine,” she shook her head, moving down the steps slowly, one hand on her lower back.

“You look like hell,” he sighed, grabbing on to her arm.

“Sophie says I’m supposed to look like when I’m eight months pregnant.”

“Yeah you are but not this bad.”

“I don’t look that…” she trailed off as she stopped on the steps, taking a deep breath as she ran her hand over her stomach.

“Mer?”

“Braxton Hicks…I’m okay.”

“Okay,” he sighed.

“Painful one but I’m okay.”

“Or you’re pushing it way too hard.”

“I’m not pushing anything,” his wife rolled her eyes as she went down the rest of the steps and made her way to the laundry room, which was filled with piles of baby clothes.

“No, this is clearly taking it easy,” he sighed.

“Hmmm hmmm,” she opened the dryer and reached into it to start folding all the tiny socks that belonged to their unborn baby.

“Mer…”

“Yeah?”

“Stop.”

“Stop what? I’m folding baby socks.”

“Folding baby socks.”

“Why?”

“Because you need to take a break,” he sighed.

“I don’t need…oh! I know which picture can be the last one for my fourth year!” she dropped the baby sock on the floor and turned quickly.

“Meredith.”

“I have one where Tom and Dave are drinking by the gazebo, while the Easter Egg hunt was going on. And Dave had stolen the Easter Eggs so that he could eat the chocolate in the middle. They just look like two old men just…sitting in a small town,” she explained quickly, trying to move past him. “That would be a perfect one for the fourth year.”

“That would be but you’re not rushing back up those stairs.”

“And for Harper’s bedroom, I want to put a picture of Tom and Bev in front of the new diner right before it was finished,” she pushed past him, waddling quickly towards the stairs.

“Meredith,” he called after her, following her upstairs. His wife was going to drive him crazy, it was as simple as that. He had seen his sisters this far along and none of them had wanted to move at all. They had found every excuse not to and while his wife couldn’t take it easy he got the distinct impression that part of her was actually looking for things to keep her busy.

“I should probably do a picture of the old diner too,” she mumbled as he caught up to her. It was the one benefit of her being eight months pregnant, he was always able to catch up with her.

“Okay, fine.”

“And then I want to…” Her swollen foot missed the top step and he barely caught her from falling, his heart pounding in his ears.

“Mer,” he gasped, pulling her to him.

“Oh…”

“Will you listen to me now?” he asked, his voice shaking.

“I just got a little dizzy again.”

“Yeah, not eating will do that.”

“I know,” she breathed, clutching his jacket in her hands. He pulled her as close as he could, rubbing her back just as he felt her stomach tightening again.

“Another one,” he sighed.

“Yeah.”

“I’m not asking you to slow down for me, Mer.”

“Before you start talking, can we go back to our bed?” she breathed.

“Oh, yeah, definitely,” he nodded.

“Good,” his wife murmured as she stood slowly and made her way to their bedroom, both of her hands now on her back, probably trying to support the weight of their daughter. She sat back down on the bed and turned to her laptop.

“Stop that for a second,” he sighed.

“I have less than two weeks to…”

“I know, Mer.”

“And I still have to find twelve more pictures, work with them, and then get them printed. And I have to decide what to pack for Harper and if I’m going to do a natural birth or not. And then there’s her nursery and all of her clothes…”

“Stop!”

“What?”

“Stop!” he snapped. “I know what needs to be done and I know the timeline but right now you need to stop!’

“Oh.”

“You’re pregnant, you are in your last trimester of what hasn’t been an easy pregnancy and for once in your life you need to stop being so damn stubborn and actually listen to me.”

“I am. I am.”

“No, you’re not.”

“Oh,” she breathed, looking at her pictures, tears building in her eyes.

“I…” he breathed, running his hands through his hair. “I don’t want to yell, god…I don’t want to yell at you.”

“But you’re going to.”

“No, I’m not,” he sighed.

“You’re not?”

“No, that’s…I want you to avoid stress. I think being yelled at by your husband would do the complete opposite.”

“Probably, yeah,” his wife nodded.

“I…” he shook his head. “I need a second to breathe and you need to eat. I’ll go grab you something and then we can talk.”

“It’s…it’s not a bad talk, is it?”

“No.”

“Good,” she murmured, reaching for her laptop and putting it on the floor before clearing the bed of her pictures.

“Thank you,” he nodded. “What do you want?”

“Just something light before dinner,” she shrugged. “Trail mix and beef jerky?”

“Can do.”

“And a chocolate chip cookie.”

“Okay,” he nodded.

“And tomato juice.”

“Sounds good.”

“Thank you.”

“No problem,” he sighed, kissing her forehead. “I’ll be right back.”

“Okay,” she murmured. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“Harper loves you.”

“I love her too,” he smiled.

“Good,” she murmured, reaching for her pillow to put between her legs as she curled slightly.

“I’ll be back.”

“Okay.”

Derek sighed and moved quickly out of the room. He needed to run downstairs before he did yell at her and a screaming argument is the last thing her body needed right now. He also knew his wife well enough to know that yelling might have made her stop but ultimately she wouldn’t really listen to him. And right now he really needed her to listen.

There was a lot on her plate right now, and he knew that she was just trying to push through it all. Once the exhibit was over, they could just return to being normal expectant parents again. But in the meantime, she was just trying to get everything done and she was missing the small piece that was her health. She wasn’t doing it on purpose, she was just terrified of everything.

He couldn’t even blame her. He had no idea how she must feel right now, to have everything she had worked for so hard finally coming together. It was big and huge and she wouldn’t be Meredith if she wasn’t obsessing over what pictures to use. It was some big decisions and if this show went well, it could totally change her career. He understood how big this was. And he also understood that she was probably terrified of what would happen in just a few weeks. She was about to be a mom and it didn’t help that she wasn’t getting nearly enough sleep at night, or that her heartburn and nausea seemed to be getting worse. Her brain was probably very full and she just needed to put everything in perspective while they relaxed together.

He grabbed her requests quickly before making his way back up the stairs. If he could get her to listen to his concerns and to really hear them and then take a half hour break, he’d be more than happy to let her go back to working until dinner was ready. It seemed like a good compromise considering that it wasn’t like she could completely stop.

Right now, she really only seemed to be able to completely relax when she was curled up in his arms. He wasn’t sure why, but his wife was so happy when he wrapped his arms around her and just held her close, his hand moving gently over her stomach. He’d be happy to help her in her final weeks of pregnancy if that was all it took. “Hey,” she smiled at him as he came back in.

“Hey,” he smiled.

“You missed Oliver licking my stomach and Harper kicking him.”

“That’s adorable,” he laughed.

“Oliver’s a little concerned now,” she nodded towards where their dog was on his bed, his head buried underneath his blanket.

“Poor guy.”

“Hmmmm,” she nodded.

“I have your snack.”

“Oh, thanks.”

“No problem,” he smiled, handing it to her before climbing onto the bed beside her.

“I didn’t even realize I was hungry until just now,” she giggled softly, tucking her body into his as she chewed on some beef jerky.

“Figures,” he sighed, wrapping his arm around her.

“Oh,” his wife breathed, her entire body immediately relaxing.

“Better?”

“Much.”

“Good.”

“This is perfect,” she whispered quietly.

“Hmmm…”

“She’s been squirming a lot today,” she whispered. “Not so much kicking just…squirming.”

“Probably getting really crowded.”

“I think so. I also think her head may be down now.”

“Oh wow.”

“I know.”

“I think so. I also think her head may be down now.”

“Oh wow.”
Katie says:
“I know.”

“You can’t distract me with cute baby talk.”

“I had a feeling you were going to catch on.”

“I know you.”

“You do,” she murmured softly.

“I…Mer, what would have happened if I hadn’t been there to catch you?”

“I…something bad.”

“Something very bad.”

“I know.”

“And…it’s not even just falling,” he sighed. “Working this hard…you could put yourself into pre-term labour. Which they’d try to stop at the hospital and if they could…they’d probably put you on bed rest.”

“I can’t do bed rest.”

“You’d suck at bed rest and you’d miss your opening.”

“Exactly. And I can’t miss my opening. I can’t.”

“I know.”

“So…”

“So how you’re going right now…you’re risking that, Mer. You’re risking hurting yourself or Harper. You’re risking having her premature and you’re risking bed rest that will make you miss a lot.”

“I don’t mean to,” she breathed, her shoulder stiffening slightly. “I swear I don’t want…I want Harper to be healthy.”

“I know you do. I know you’re not trying to do any of that.”

“I just have so much going on and…I don’t know,” she shook her head. “I’m trying to get everything done before I’m too tired to do anything.”

“I know you are,” he sighed. “But you can’t.”

“Why can’t I?”

“Because it’s too much.”

“I can’t just give up something, Derek. I can’t give up my career and I can’t give up Harper so I have to keep doing all of it.”

“I know you do but it doesn’t mean you can’t get some help.”

“Help?”

“Help,” he nodded. “I can’t ask for a lighter schedule at work right now, not when I’m about to take pat leave but I think we need to talk to Bev.”

“Bev’s busy at the diner, Derek.”

“She has help there and she’s offered a thousand times to help us here.”

“I…I know but I don’t want to pull her away.”

“She wants to be here.”

“I know,” she breathed softly.

“And if you work yourself to bed rest, she’s going to be upset you didn’t ask her for help.”

“I know,” she repeated.

“So we should talk to her.”

“So I can tell her I can’t do it all. That I’m choosing my job over Harper.”

“Meredith, that is not at all what you’re doing,” he breathed.

“That’s what it feels like,” she whimpered. “Every time I work on my pictures instead of doing laundry or working on her nursery or…I feel like I’m choosing my job over her. And I’m supposed to be able to do it all at once.”

“You’re not,” he shook his head. “No one can do it all at once.”

“You know that’s not true.”

“It is true.”

“No, it isn’t. She’s only one. Sophie has five and look at her…she actually owns a part of her practice now. Owns it. She became this successful pediatrician and is raising five kids. I can’t even work on some fucking pictures and…” she shook her head, arching her back towards him.

“And when Sophie was this pregnant, she was sitting at home watching trashy soap operas.”

“She…she was?”

“She was. I think for her last couple she may have still been working but with a very reduced schedule.”

“My job is pretty easy though. So why can’t I do it?”

“Your job went from being pretty easy to pretty demanding the second you got that phone call.”

“I…I know,” she sighed.

“You have too much on your plate.”

“And what do you want me to let slide, Derek? What do you want me to drop?”

“Nothing, there’s nothing you can drop,” he sighed. “Which is why we need Bev to be an extra pair of hands.”

“All the time?”

“No, you don’t need a babysitter.”

“So when?”

“I don’t know. Maybe for an hour or two a day. She can come, help you with a couple of loads of laundry and any other housework you want to get done. And make sure you ate.”

“Hmmmm,” she nodded.

“She could come after the breakfast rush and before the lunch rush,” he nodded. “She’d still be at the diner at peak time and she’d be able to make you a quick lunch before heading back.”

“Maybe you should talk to her about this before you start making plans,” she rolled her eyes, yawning widely.

“You think she’d be unwilling?”

“No…probably not.”

“Definitely not but we’ll talk to her tonight.”

“Okay,” she breathed.

“And if for some reason it doesn’t work, Ma can fly out early.”

“I’m not asking your mom to fly out yet.”

“You are if Bev can’t help.”

“No, your mom needs to stay in New York and have her life…it’s too early for her to come out.”

“It’s not if you need the help.”

“You just said Bev wouldn’t say no.”

“She won’t.”

“Then we’re not talking about your mom.”

“Because it’s a back up plan,” he sighed.

“We’ll talk about it if Bev says no.”

“Fine.”

“Thank you,” she breathed softly.

“I just…I can’t have something happen to you or Harper.”

“I don’t want anything to happen to her either, Derek.”

“Which…you slowing down and letting Bev help, that is putting her before your job, Mer.”

“It is?”

“You can’t let work slide right now but you’re still finding a way to make sure that everything is ready for her to come and that you’re both taken care of.”

“Okay,” she murmured, rubbing her stomach.

“You’re doing what’s best for.”

“Hmmmm…” she breathed.

“What are you thinking?”

“I’m thinking I feel like crap. I’m thinking I have so much to do and I just want to sleep but I can’t sleep.”

“You are going to sleep,” he nodded.

“Tell my body that, Derek.”

“What’s bugging you right now?”

“Right now?” she sighed. “My back is killing me, my legs are cramping, and I can’t figure out how to get comfortable. It’s like I feel every movement right now and my belly is just…it’s huge. And I have to pee every twenty minutes.”

“I can’t help with the peeing thing,” he laughed softly, pulling her closer to him. “But get as comfortable as you can with me and I’ll rub your back.”

“What about my legs?”

“Are they worse than your back?”

“Hmmmm…” she sighed. “Nothing’s worse than my back.”

“Back first,” he nodded. “After dinner you can go back to working on pictures and I’ll rub your legs.”

“Her socks…”

“What about her socks?”

“They need to be folded.”

“I’ll do that while dinner is on.”

“Hmmmm…before you start dinner…can you convince her to stop squirming? I know she’s uncomfortable and cramped but…”

“Harper, sweetie, can you take a nap for Mommy?”

“Please, Harper.”

“I know it’s probably really uncomfortable and crowded in there but just take a bit of a nap so Mommy can get one. And when you both wake up, you tell Mommy what you want to eat in that way you do and I’ll make sure she gets it.”

“Do you think she’s mad at me?”

“What? Why?”

“Because…because I haven’t been taking care of myself.”

“Oh Mer, she’s not. She’s probably been worried but not mad.”

“O…okay,” his wife breathed.

“And very crowded.”

“I know how she feels.”

“But she’s not mad.”

“Good,” she breathed, her eyes starting to close.

“Sleep,” he murmured.

“Back.”

“I know,” he whispered, his hand rubbing along her back.

“Th-thanks,” she whispered as her eyes fell shut and her shoulders relaxed.

“Love you,” he breathed as he continued to rub her back, smiling as Oliver curled into her legs. She had actually listened to him and hopefully later tonight they could talk to Bev and put the solution in place. He had a feeling it wouldn’t actually make her slow down nearly as much as he wished she would but at least it would mean there would be someone else there. After the exhibit, he would call his mom and ask her when she was planning on coming out. He knew she would rest more after her opening, but he also knew that she would probably go into overdrive wanting to get everything done. She just needed people around her, people who could watch out for her and Harper and help out however they could. He’d feel better if she wasn’t alone.